All us mothers can relate to the chaos and exhaustion.
One suggestion I have – small children can help. Get them involved in helping, even if their help isn’t very effective or helpful – and eventually it will be.
Ask them to throw away something, put something in the hamper. Go to the washing machine together, let them put laundry in and make it fun.
Try to keep certain things organized – ie where you keep their shoes, so they will learn that, and enjoy finding the shoes where they should be, so they will start to learn to want to put them back in their place.
It will be very slow, but make it fun and reward them. Do some of your work jointly with them – nothing too messy, but clearing the table, sorting laundry.
Soon they will learn these routines. And yes, be very strict about not allowing the messy activities. Mommy does not let smearing that, spilling on purpose, make a very sad face. Mommy just washed the floor, now there’s lemonaid all over …
What should we do next time…
Hashem should give you a lot of koach and yes chessed girls is a great thing too.
Much Hatzlocho.