Wow that sounds pretty insane i’m surprised u havent farmed them out for good 😀 just kidding but firstly a parenting course really really helps!! seriously..i’m not saying at all that this happens because ur not a good parent, this happens to many people, but in parenting courses (if it’s a good one of course) they give really useful tips on how to get kids to listen to you..there really is a way…and charts, routines, prizes etc all work very well to getting kids to calm down a little bit.
There’s no reason why u should spend hours tidying up every night when u have kids who are old enough to tidy up after themselves. yes the kitchen etc is your duty, but all their toys etc they can do themselves. They can be taught when tehy get undressed where teh laundry hamper is. Kids are very easy to teach and they actually really love feeling useful if you give them enough attention for doing their jobs right.
There’s much more to say but i think you’d get a lot out of hearing a parenting course as mra suggested – i’m saying that because i just started a parenting course myself a month ago and i’m absolutely loving it, it’s so useful and it really works 🙂
Good luck!