These kids aren’t on that level, though.
I agree with the above poster, and that was my point exactly: you cannot regulate personal, private issues in a kiruv environment.
I’ve been told that in kiruv, the only tochecha that should be given is correcting averot be farhesya; i.e. if a Jewish male is bareheaded, or if he’s taking his phone out in a public place on shabbat, or about to take out non-kosher food, then you stop them.
To have an impact on teens, you need to emphasize the positive things- ruchiyut, spirituality, singing, stories, fun activities, good food, good “chevrashaft,” things like that.