oomis- as much as you love your mother, kibud av veeim can still be hard. I keep forgetting not to contradict my mother outright when she accidentally mixes something up. I would never manage without my mother, and I love her very much. Despite that, it can still get hard to remember to speak with the proper respect she deserves. “
I understand what you are saying. If it were easy however, the reward for it would not be as great. My mom O”H is gone nearly 20 years, and I STILL have much pain and charata over one specific incident between us (and though my argument WAS correct, I know I was absolutely incorrect in how I reacted with her). To this day, when I go to her kever, I ask for mechilah at being so foolishly chutzpahdig. Right or wrong, easy or challenging, we still have the chiyuv of kibud av and eim. When we know there are buttons being pushed by a parent, we need to respectfully step away if we cannot act respectfully. Some parents are harder to deal with than others, but that does not free us from certain obligation. I had to work on this middah in myself (sometimes harder to do than others), and that was despite the fact that my mother was a WONDERFUL, loving person. We just occasionally disagreed. That’s btw, why my motto is “disagree without being disagreeable.”