I remember when we were kids, my mother had no problem letting us go out for pizza–once in awhile. But she did not often accompany us, and when she did, she was uncomfortable.She said,”If someone who has helped us with money sees us, they might think we are wasting the money.” The truth is, “needs” are subjective and relative, and after you help someone, you should not really be critical of how they spend. If you are correct in your assumption, pay their bills directly. I personally have had to accept money from others in the past, and I will never forget the moment when I bumped into the ba’al tzedakah in the “cut fruit” section!! A luxury, for sure, but it helped me stay on my diet. Immediately, this intuitive tzadik said to me, “These things make our lives much simpler,”(or similar to that) and disappeared!! That is the kind of person whom we should emulate in cases like this.
Eclipse welcome back!! You were sorely missed!