Curiosity, regarding the first two points, I’m just telling you what the standard is in my community. It may be different where you live. Regarding the third, you say it has nothing to do with dating. But that was not the OP’s question. The question is regarding “shidduchim”, and last I checked, the wedding is very much a part of shidduchim. Incidentally, I know couples whose engagements have broken off over wedding related arguments (how “nice” does the affair have to be, who’s paying for what, etc). My husband had a broken engagement before he met me, and although the wedding planning wasn’t the only or even the primary reason the engagement broke, it was definitely a major issue.
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