smile 66: Mazel tov! I very recently got married, so I hope I can be of help. First of all, in response to ah yid, it is TOTALLY normal for a kallah to go into the seforim store and even PAY for the whole thing herself. Where I come from, it doesn’t all get taken care of by Mommy and Totty. To each their own. There’s no right or wrong with this. I didn’t pay for our set, but I did personally go and pick them up after several trips to the store to see if our set came in yet. It was very gratifying to bring it from the store to my apartment all by myself, knowing how happy my chassan would be to see it on the shelf.
Anyway, here’s my advice:
Chassan size is HUGE. Looks majestic, but can be difficult to learn from such a big sefer. Medium is quite large enough. Also, since HE will be learning from it – ask him what he wants. Chances are he knows exactly which set he wants, maybe even which size. (mine knew…) We got the Oz VeHadar, medium size, EXPANDED edition (Im Harbey Hosafos) – if it doesnt say Im Harbey Hosafos – then it won’t have all the many ‘additional’ meforshim. My chassan wanted it specifically because it had all the ‘extras.’ You said $500 is your budget? I don’t know if you have certain money set aside for other gifts as well, but perhaps you can designate some other gift money to go towards the shas instead. If not, very possibly your chassan would be glad to chip in $100 or $200 to get the shas he wants. Discuss it with him. This type of thing need not be a surprise. It’s a big purchase and he should be 100% percent happy with it (and then you’ll be happy too!).
Btw, if I remember correctly, I paid $690 at Tuvia’s for the medium size, expanded Oz Vehadar. It’s plenty big, it’s clear and pleasant to use, and my chassan/husband is really enjoying it!
Mazel tov and hatzlacha!