WIY: Did I ever say that’s not the case?
All I’m saying is that even if it does harm you, you can’t force someone else to change FOR YOU. You can wish they did, and it could be COMPLETELY their problem and they could be headed straight to the boiling oil (or the Jewish equivalent) after 120, but a) a decent amount of the onus is on YOU not to look and b) even if the other person is 100% wrong, you can be VERY annoyed and even ask the other person not to paint the door orange, but you can’t ask them to repaint or even repaint it yourself.
It’s frustrating, but it’s a fact of life.
And like someone mentioned above, after the basic tznius guidelines the girl is COVERED (literally and figuratively). Of course, a taste for the spirit of the law is appreciated, I’m sure, but yes, it is just as much (if not, for obvious reasons, MORE) your mitzvah than ours. I won’t be blackmailed into taking ALL of the responsibility off of the guys- if a guy trips up, it’s not ONLY the girl’s fault.