“in other words, a man wants to look and a woman wants to be seen/appreciated. accordingly, the very nature of the way the nisayon presents itself cant be a cop out. a womans nisayon isnt while locked in her bedroom, it’s to be seen on the street. a mans nisayon is to see her there, and look, or look away.”
Actually, women also like to look at men. And no, this is not just the odd woman out, either. In goyishe culture women look at men just as much as men look at women. The reason we don’t see it so much in the frum community (although you never know what is inside a woman’s head) is that it is programmed into us practically from birth that we must guard against men not looking at women and women not giving men a reason to look. Nobody ever talks about women looking at men, so we assume that no sane woman would ever do such a thing. But the truth is that biologically, it cuts both ways. In fact, when I started becoming more frum in high school, I decided to stop going mixed swimming davka because I found myself looking at men at the swimming pool. For years I thought there was something wrong with me, until I realized that it was a function of my being in the presence of men who were wearing almost nothing. If you don’t give women something to look at, they won’t look. It’s EXACTLY the same phenomenon that happens in the other direction. I really wish more people would think about/acknowledge it. <endrant>