Sam2- i found the gemara you mentioned and i dont see how it says what you mean at all. the gemara is explaining why a baal who is morid pays half of a what a moreddes pays. from rashi it appears to be a daled vihay type of svara.
jewishf- firstly, i never spoke about that. that wasnt the topic of discussion. we were arguing whehter a mans taava to look is bigger or not than a womans taava to dress inappropriately. agav, this nekuda came up when i was being miva’er the inyan, and from what i heard from a few people, the feelings and thoughts are different even when a woman has a taavah to look.