OP- You can draw 2 conclusions from the story
1. Your friends conclusion, that the “ultra orthodox” are horrible people and you should not send your daughter to Israel or
2. your friend is prejudice to the “ultra orthodox” b.c. on some level she realizes her group doesn’t keep shomer negia (some do but many dont) and that she has to speak lashan hora about torah observant Jews to justify her life style. In Psychology its called cognitive dissonance its easier to change your view of reality than change.