“I have a list of gifts I expect to recieve [sic] with parameters to insure [sic] that they’re what I want.”
That is not a gift, by definition. A gift is given freely out of genuine goodwill and should be appreciated as such, not “expected” or resented if it doesn’t meet whatever criteria.
I felt uneasy about “registering” for wedding gifts, because I didn’t like the idea of asking our guests outright for gifts. In the end, we did create a registry, actually because so many people asked us if we had one. Our guests really wanted to choose gifts that they knew we would use and appreciate. But we tried to emphasize that the greatest gift anyone could give us was their presence at our chasunah. Because we grew up in different places, our friends and family lived far from each other and no matter where we had the wedding, somebody would have to travel. It was a real source of pain for my husband that most of his side was unable to make the trip, and I would have gladly given up half of our gifts in exchange for more guests on his side if I could have. It was mamash heartbreaking to look around the room and see so many of “my people” and only a handful of his.