Just because one lifestyle works for you doesnt means it works for everyone.
And just because you dont see something doesnt mean it doesnt exist. Many family problems are hidden from outsiders.
In the non jewish world there is a concept of keeping up with the Joneses meaninmg if my neighbor has something , It means I have to get it or one up him.
Unfortunatly in the charedi world this customs has been adopted, but unlike the ganzer velt where it applies to monetary things, It has applied to things like children or chumras. And its become unfortunat that if a woman only has 4 children she is seem as a nebuch