I once had a real hard time forgiving someone who literally made my life miserable. I was a young teen, and somehow, she turned ALL of my friends against me, spread rumors like I had a breakdown r”l etc. When I thought I really forgave her, somehow, the pain always came back.
Fortunately, two years later, one of my friends realized that I still bore a grudge on her, and let her know about it. She asked for mechilla and I was mochel her. (that in itself made me be her mochel to see that she realized she’d done something wrong). We are currently best friends!
AYC, I really admire you for forgiving them. I do think however, that until the guilty party ASKS for mechilla, it’s very hard to forgive. Maybe you can ask someone to let them know that you feel hurt. Would that work?
Hatzlacha rabba and a gut yahr.