I also had this problem and asked a rav what to do about it. I think he said something like if you’re already asking this question than you’ve forgiven them. Yes, it still might hurt and it’s allowed to hurt still but you’ve forgiven them already.
I’m not so sure this makes a lot of sense to me since I really do still question whether I’ve forgiven them even though like 3 or 4 r”h and y”k have passed and I wonder if there really is a way for me to know…