However, a lot of times with people who go OTD, the process starts when they are very young -early to mid teenage years. There’s a reason why they are called teenagers and not adults. There’s a reason we don’t marry off our kids when they are 13 and 14 years old. People are usually not mature enough at that age!
The Torah says that a girl of twelve and a boy of thriteen years old are responsible for their actions and it’s very interesting but it’s true that the process of OTD starts for some at early to mid teenage years- right around the time where people start being responsible for their actions! I find it amazing.
I’m not saying that one can’t change. I keep on saying that teshuva can be done as long as one lives, however that does not negate the fact that the choosing to go OTD is one’s choice.
Being mature or not does not take away the fact that one can choose to do good or bad. And although the process might start at 13 most who really go off the derech are at least age 16 and up.
1. ALL those who started out at 12-13 doing bad stuff did not end up doing it at 18.
Don’t start with “well they got help, etc.” Very nice but a lot of kids got help and it didn’t matter not one bit.
2. Teenage years, while being a turbulent time for some because they are trying to find their identity is not an excuse for going OTD. Trying to find oneself is a seperate issue from chutzpah, ingratitude- es kimt zich mir attitude, and hurting loved ones with their actions – this is something a good number of OTD’s carry over from their teenage years to adults and they don’t change.
3. Years ago people did marry in their teens proof that bechira has nothing to do with if one is married or not. Our generation marries later than previous ones because we, especially the women, expect more from marriage then years ago where they just paired together two individuals that the parents approved and that was that.
4. There are immature kids that don’t go OTD
I can’t answer WHY Hshm gave them those challenges if ultimately they did not pass them. Maybe they weren’t meant to pass them. I don’t know.
Aha. So just that those who sin could feel good about themselves, we aren’t meant to overcome our tests in life. In other words, if all is easy and keeping Yiddishkeit is a breeze, then great let’s do it. But if it’s a challenge then we aren’t davka meant to pass them. Maybe yes, maybe no, but those who went off the derech probably weren’t meant to pass them as their challenges were extremely diffucult to handle.
Yes that’s where our cavalier attitude to sin and our acceptance of others choices to violate halacha leads us.