Philosopher, I didn’t say nor need I say that everyone of the kids I know came back. Nachas is not tied up in only returning to Yiddishkeit. Nachas is also tied up in becoming healthy, clean and sober. Nachas is tied up in knowing a child is alive and well and I am no longer waiting for a death call and I am no longer on a suicide watch. And yes my Nachas is also tied up in those who have returned, married, had kids, went to E”Y, back to yeshiva, etc. All sorts of nachas, b”h.
As far as Judging is concerned you don’t need to use the word in order to judge. Your whole speech is judgment itself. You haven’t walked in anyone’s shoes but your own, so you only know your own issues and how you handled them and the choices that you yourself made. Kudos to you and the way you handled yours. That doesn’t mean that others can or have to handle their nisyonos in the same fashion. Everyone’s variables are different. So when you say, that everyone has an opportunity to change “but”…. that is judging.
Yes everyone has an opportunity to change and come back and make different choices for themselves. So maybe tomorrow 10 more kids will turn around, and maybe next week there will be more, and unfortunately maybe tomorrow another 10 will be turned off the derech. Hashem is in charge and he runs the world. We are only here to help him. SO what CAN we do to help. We smile, we say good day, we give a handshake. We offer up a sandwich or a Shabbos meal. We try to listen to understand. We lead and guide by example. We love unconditionally for no other reason than that child is Hashem’s child, a Jewish child who deserves to be loved. He doesn’t need to earn it. I respect him or her not because she has to earn my respect but because RESPECT is a given. Hashem commanded me to respect ALL he created including human beings and therefore I respect them. AND when I show respect and give respect I teach others to do the same and so they respect me and show me respect in return. I don’t demand respect, i gain respect and I expect to be respected as I respect others.