One’s upbringing is able to have very negative and lasting results on one’s psyche.To simply state that people in these situations should “snap out of it”, “deal with it”, or whatever, is not realistic.
I definitely agree with you on that and never said otherwise. Kids and teens who have been abused can be angry and confused, scarred and wounded and I never said otherwise.
Don’t you agree that at the very least she is LESS responsible than other people?
I’m not God and don’t have to agree or disagree, God is the Judge.
And if she is less responsible, could it not be feasible that she is fulfilling her responsibilities in a better manner than some people who you deem to be doing the right things?
Hashem has explicitly said that we cannot sin and there will be repercussions if we do. Some have unfortunetly forgotton that we are in golus and why we are in golus.
Those who struggle in trying to define Yiddishkeit for themselves, they don’t respect their teachers and parents but still want to do the right thing they keep Shabbos and basic halachos, yes they deserve a lot of respect.
But those who have cast off every vestige of Yiddishkeit, trample on the very basic of halachas, how in the world can one say they are fulfilling their responsibilies?
You as a parent are responsible if the kid goes off the derech and all his averos will be on your cheshbon.
After the bar mitzvah age, a child is responsible for their own actions. The parents will not have to give din v’cheshbon for the child.
If a parent abused or mistreated a child, they will give din v’cheshbon for that.
i did not talk about respecting the sin
Some people have talked about respecting others choice even if they are sinning or nachas even if they are not frum.
i talked about showing the kid acceptance even if he hasn’t made a spiritual step yet.
love and acceptence makes in a thousand times easier for a kid to come back, and even just to make that first step.
Love is very important – an OTD should never feel shunned. About acceptance – I agree they need to feel accepted as people, but not their sinful actions.
A frum Jew cannot respect and accept sinful actions.
And as I said before, not respecting sinful choices of OTD’s does not mean we can act in a disrespectful or demeaning fashion with them. We need to act respectfuly and not reverently as some are wont to do, as we do with every Jew.
But we should not and could not respect or accept any sinful choices that they make.