Philo, the reason there is no point discussing anything with you is because you just want to argue and answer everyone point by point because of your “need to be right”.
You had an experience with ONE person and you got hurt and now you are on a rampage on the whole OTD population. Well then, you are judging the entire population of OTD kids in the same manner that they judge the Frum oylam. ONE person hurt them and they turned away from the entire frum community. One OTD girl did not show appreciation or thanked you for your help and now you have a really rotten outlook on the entire OTD population. You don’t respect THEM, but really YOU don’t respect the girl who hurt you and those feelings might be transferring not only to the OTD population but to everyone who disagrees with you.
As far as the other posters that said that RESPECT needs to be earned, that is a goyish concept. According to the Torah. WE are commanded to respect ALL of Hashem’s creations therefore RESPECT is a given. AND when we show we respect, we teach respect. When we speak with respect we are spoken to with respect. As adults WE usually control the conversation, so it is up to us to start off being respectful.
In general we might not love or respect what our children are doing, but we still must love our children unconditionally and separate the child from the action. When I say OUR children I mean bnei and bnos Yisroel whether they are our biological children or not. It is only through unconditional love that we will bring them back to yiddishkeit. If a child tells me that he ate at McDonalds because it is cheaper I don’t agree with them, I give them $10 dollars to eat in Kosher Delight or take them out to dinner. They may or may not use the money for kosher food, but they won’t forget my offer. It will leave an impression on them, a frum person who doesn’t know them and has no reason to care about them gave them money for kosher food. They take every one of these mitzvos towards them and tuck them away in their shirt pockets close to their hearts. In their darkest moments, it is these acts of kindness and generosity that envelops them and reminds them that Hashem is watching over them and sending them shelichim.
I constantly meet young men and young ladies who look familiar to me and I can’t place them. And then I remember that young good looking yeshiva boy, used to have really long hair and was really rough around the edges. They come over and say Mrs ” “, remember me?