jewishfeminist02,
I have heard that there are people in minyanim
People are people, and I’m sure that every minyan of every stripe has its share of interesting characters!
who will correct the way others wear their tefillin, either by verbally advising them or even physically reaching over to adjust the person’s straps. Does this actually happen? And if so, what do you think– is it appropriate or not?
If my tefillin were pushed askew, I would ultimately appreciate someone quietly telling me – though I would also feel a bit embarrassed. I probably wouldn’t mind him adjusting it for me if he asked first, since it would save me the extra seconds to get my mirror. If he didn’t ask first before touching them, however, I would feel very uncomfortable (and probably wonder if he were mentally stable).
If the issue the person had was with my custom, I would just say, “thanks for the advice, but this is how I learned to put them on” and move on. If it were an issue like what LevAryehBoy described, I would hopefully just say “thank you.”
I personally wouldn’t correct somebody else. With the tallis going on and off the head, standing, sitting, etc., tefillin are likely to shift during davening. I’m sure most people periodically check to make sure they are still in their proper place. Therefore it’s very likely that the man with his tefillin askew will correct the issue himself in short order.