I think once a person forgives, the pain might fade into the background a little. But I’d say it happens after forgiveness, or at least letting go on a certain level. But because its something abstract/personal/situation-specific, I’m not sure theres one blanket answer.
Shopping-
Did your friend just cut off contact from one day to the next? I have no idea what happened, (and I apologize if this makes it worse,) but IME, sometimes people act funny in relationships because of outside factors or because they don’t have any better ways to deal with it. I believe someone once posted here “hurt people hurt people”. Not necessarily is every situation like that, maybe many are not, but could she have been hurt and then reacted as she did, or maybe from something else going on in her life?
Again, I have no idea what happened, but I’ve seen both sides enough times to know that usually people don’t specifically try to hurt anyone, usually its just a side effect of something else. Decide if you want the relationship or an apology and if you aren’t comfortable picking up the phone you can try sending an email or something, but if you ask directly, you probably have a better chance of getting a direct answer. Good luck!
Sorry for the rant. 🙂