Shopping613 friend- It can be a personality thing. I know people who are afraid to face their loneliness, so they deny their need for friendship. Perhaps she feels so alone, that she needs to convince you (and herself) that it’s true. Before she saw you all the time. Now she doesn’t, and that in itself may be so hard to face. I’m sorry this hurt you so much. Sometimes people are so deep in their own pain, they don’t even realize how much they hurt others, or they convince themselves no-one gets hurt. She may be embarrassed about her family’s different minhagim, but it may be something else entirely. I would say she’s probably in denial.
So what can you do? Understand that there is a deep pain in her, that has nothing to do with you. Accept that she is who she is.
Shopping613- I’m still trying to figure out which parts are from you, and which are from your friend. Don’t wait for a phone call. For all you know, you’re friend is wishing you would call her because she’s too embarrassed or something. Never wait for people, when you can do yourself. (You can’t change how others act, only how you do)
Both of you- Don’t panic. Hashem takes everything into consideration. That you want to forgive is a huge step in the right direction. Rosh Hoshana isn’t a deadline. It’s not like forgiveness isn’t acceptable after Yom Kippur. Hashem knows your future choices as well. He takes it all into consideration.