ObstacleIllusion – Though (as I stated) I do not really believe the word should exist, it is generally used in mainstream media to describe people who are opposed to gay rights. You, as a religious Jew, have an obligation to be averse to that. V’lo savi to’evah el be’sacha.
All I meant in my previous post (if it was not already abundantly clear) is that they concocted a strong-sounding word to describe views which merely oppose their own. I never said that people defined by the media as homophobes actually have an “extreme or irrational fear of or aversion to” homosexuality.
That being said, one should definitely view activities which the Torah forbids with disgust (and possibly hate). The scenario you describe is someone struggling with an unwanted attraction and who wants to work through his yetzer hara and do the right thing. A religious Jew being a proverbial homophobe should mean that he has an “extreme or irrational fear of or aversion to” open, flaunting, proud, or even simply unrepentant and rationalizing homosexual behavior.
Let’s also not forget that the sin of cursing a fellow Jew is derived from Venasi be’amcha lo sa’or (Sanhedrin 66a), which only applies to someone who is oseh ma’aseh amcha (Bava Kama 94b, Sanhedrin 85a, Yevamos 22b, etc.)