Ok so I just heard a great speech which has really just stayed in my head and has been replaying ever since. Obviously I will not be able to write it over as well as the speaker gave it, but I will attempt to just because I really found it to be so helpful. It’s a bit long so anyone not interested just skip this post. It is from Rabbi Ephraim Twerski, Rav of Kahal Chassidim of Chicago. I might end up saying some of this a bit out of order but you will hopefully get the point.
On Rosh Hashana we beg Hashem to give us a good and blessed year. One of happiness, success, health. parnassah, and only good. How can we ask Hashem for such a great year if we are not deserving of this based on our past actions? After all this is a world of deserving. We would not be created otherwise. We would have just stayed up in shamayim, our neshamos still right below the kisai hakavod. So Rabbi Twerski explained that we daven and admit that yes we have not been the best we could be but this was just the past we are going to be better from now on. And if Hashem can forget the past then we need to so that it does not act as an impediment for our growth.
We say Avinu Malkeinu during the aseres ymei teshuva and most are clear. But one seems strange. Its says Zchor ki afar anachnu – Remember that we are dust. What does this come to show? It says we have a past, a past of just dirt but Hashem look at our future because we will make sure that it is a brilliant and glorious future!
It says Hashiveinu Ainu Eilecha v’nashuva chadesh Yameinu… Why V’nashuva? this should not be the lashon, and why Chadesh- will be new? If we follow in the ways of Hashem no matter our past, and really truly forget our past and put it behind us doing teshuva to become a better person then chadesh yameinu! We will be almost renewed! Our days will become great and will be as good as new!
He explained how so often it is our past sins which stop us and discourage us in our journey to become better. We think about all we have done and feel we can never become great if we have done these sins. Rabbi Twerski stressed how important it is to put our past behind us and do teshuva while looking into the future and hoping for the better. He ended off with a story showing this.
He was talking to a vishnitzer chassid who admitted that he had commited a grave crime. This chassid told Rabbi Twerski that he couldn’t live with himself so went to the Vishnitzer Rebbe at that time (The name has slipped my mind) He broke down to the Rebbe and asked for what he can do to help. The Rebbe said he didn’t have an answer. He went into hysterics and was sobbing. The Rebbe said he has an answer but then said that he knew the chassid will not accept it so did not want to say. the chassid begged and pleaded and after much convincing that he would accept immediately, he said FORGET ABOUT THE SIN! The chassid was in shock and started to argue and the Rebbe reminded him that he needs to take the answer. The Rebbe showed how we need to forget the past in order to move forward. If Hashem can do it, then we need to! Last part was that We say in L’david Hashem Lulei hemanti… so lulei is spelled the opposite of elul in hebrew. Lulei means “had I not!” If we focus on the “had I not” then that is the opposite of what elul shoudl be and we are going to have a harder time doing teshuva and growing higher. May we all come to truly deserve a g’benched year!