– – – bais yakov maidel
I would switch with you if I could (just the learning Gemara part).
I mostly don’t like learning Gemara, but my belief in Judaism is solid and comes from other places. Sounds like your teachers did not do the best job on some parts of your education. I know my teachers didn’t fill our heads with, Men are better than Women, garbage. Most explained that every one has a role and each person/ gender has strengths. (Sort of related point – That is why people need to get married. To strengthen each person’s weaknesses)
Regarding the part which you mention “Will the pre-screen me and say that “by virtue of the fact that I am female, I don’t have the brain capacity to really understand gemara… it’s just the way Hashem made things…”?”
I have heard that in general women are better at broad brain capacity (ex: women are very good at multi tasking). Men in general are more suited to single minded tasks (ex: my Mom used to yell at me to do chores but many time I could not hear because I was so focused on a book. I have witnessed similar events with other males).
You seem like you are intelligent and you may be an exception, because most women don’t vocalize this if they feel this way. I would suggest talk to a rabbi that knows you and you are comfortable with. Also you can lean Tanach and Halacha in depth, Rashi was such a great writer that people of all ages and skill levels can learn from him. Try Rambam’s guide to the perplexed (forgot what it is called in hebrew Mo’reh something).
On a completely unrelated note:
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