Bym
I’m not afraid but you do have a point that most people will give up if they see that you just have this idea in your head and anything they say isn’t going to help. I just don’t understand your reluctance in speaking to a Rabbi or Rebbetzin (in our camp) unless of course it’s because they will give you an answer you don’t want to hear. So you are strong minded girl an with an independent streak who can’t take a no? Do I have it right?