Again, Pirkei Avos says “Asei licha Rav”. This applies to Rebbetzins, too. In fact, there is a concept of a “Rav’s Rav”; even Rabbanim need a Rav.
Find a Rav who will answer your questions. Perhaps ask your husband to do so for you. Surely someone can address your goal, whether or not learning gemara is an appropriate medium to accomplish this.
Moshe emes viSoraso emes. Kisiva VaChasima Tova to all of Klal Yisrael.