ok this is gonna be long and possible a tad complicated so keep bear with me
i completely hear your prob and i had the same prob not to long ago you must take time to sit alone and think honestly to yourself if what you know now about judaisim is enough that a rational person NOT YOU PER SE but another different rational person would say that the odds are its true NOT that there is proof of any sort but just a reasonable amount of evidence that would make a rational person of a court of law compelled to say its true or at least CAN be true now when you come up with your answer… if its yes then ask yourself 2 questions 1)are the questions that im asking really bothering me as questions or are they maybe just whisps of and yes i hate to say it but OCD lingering within me for if it wasnt ocd why then would i not feel this way more often about many other parts of yiddishkiet (granted yom kippur makes sense to feel this way more but so much so that you cant get yourself to say a few words on a page? that even according to you mean nothing?! if you were to ask a non religous jew who isnt against judaisim but just not a believer he would be able to say the words without a problem maybe not mean what he says but say the words nonetheless)
if your answer is no then you must say to yourself this ” i came to this conclusion through logic, now logic would as well dictate that if i had on one side of the scale a good reason to believe that something WASNT true and on the other side even a tiny tiny chance to believe it was (which btw even richard dawkins would agree there is a tiny tiny chance) and as well on the side to believe it was the promise of eternal happiness (gan eden or at least not gehinom) then that vs the other side of nothingness after death; the side with eternal anything will win bec its ETERNAL so by definition its worth the risk of going to that side bec the promise is forever so the risk is worth the return! so all the more so if its just one day of your life!”
there is more to say on this topic but tell me what you think of this first
ps. just a side point, if this does come from a touch of ocd nothing anyone will ever tell you will help you must be completely and rigorously honest with yourself and ask yourself what a rational 3rd person would make of this evidence that may be the only way