Outsider: what you say is a bit complicated for the following reasons. For someone who has a strong belief system and knows how to ‘deal’ with being mekarev others, then kol hakavod, they should keep a kesher with the ‘not-yet frum’ person. But someone who is just beginning their journey back to Judaism might not have the spiritual stregnth to be close with said person. Backing off a bit from teh relationship might be teh only way. I’m not in the position of saying drop the person completely, but i do feel that to acheive his/her goal, backing off a bit is necessary. Most of us are not on the level of Rabbi Hillel or the Ba’al shem tov that we wont be influenced by the outside world and its enticements.
I’m sorry that you had unpleasant encounters with ‘traditional’ Jews.