writersoul-
I agree in most situations where the parents can’t support the couple and the wife doesn’t want to our can’t work, then there is no obligation to learn in Kollel. the obligation is to do whatever possible, and what that is depends on many factors. The question is, is it a priority that they are willing to sacrifice for, even if it means the wife working, our is it a nice thing, but it’s not something to bend over backwards for. The first attitude is the attitude of those in Kollel. it’s not easy, you have to cut back on certain things, but if that lifestyle is very important, it’s worth it. There are many people who claim they can’t make it work, but really they’re just not motivated.
The reason Kollel was never the norm is because they struggled even with working. But Baruch Hashem, there’s a lot more prosperity now than there used to be, so it’s realistic for thousands of people to learn full time.