If it is your destiny to learn Sod then you will be approached by a Mekubal to become his talmid to learn Kabbalah. People who learn Kabbalah are very secretive but can see into people.
If you are meant to learn Kabbalah then you will be found these teachers who will see that you are pure, normal (ie not mad), and have the intellectual ability to learn such Torah.
The Gemarah in the second perek of Chagigah describes who kabbalah should be taught to – a person whose soul already knows Kabbalah, or is so spritually aware that the teacher only has to hint to the student and the student knows exactly what the teaching is refering to.
If you learn Kabbalah seforim yourself and you are not on this level you could risk becoming like the 4 who entered the Pardes (Eden). The Gemara says that 1 went mad, 1 became ill and died and 1 became an apostate. The 4TH Rebbi Akiva was on the level and was allowed to enter and leave without being harmed.
Even though the meditative kabbalah that these 4 practised is way above anybody today, it still could be harmful to study Kabbalh without proper guidance.
In particular You tube now sees full of lectures on the Zohar. In video I saw an introduction to the Zohar was given by a man (may e he was Jewish, it was hard to tell) who was not wearing a yamulka, never mentioned G-d in the whole hour of the video and further never mentioned Judaism. He did however say that the Zohar is the secret knoweledge as to how the world really works and is the guidebook for freemasons and other cultish groups.
If you do want to know something of Sod then you can learn Chabad, Breslov and mussar seforim that will teach such matters safely.