Reply To: Refusing to give or accept a get

I don’t think my question was well understood and perhaps I wasn’t sufficiently clear. So allow me to rephrase.

1) Torah law always allowed a husband to decide he does not want to give a Get to his wife even if she wants one. 2) Rabbeinu Gershom instituted a rabbinic ordinance giving a wife the same right, namely to decide she wishes to decline accepting a Get that her husband wishes to give her.

So it is established, therefore, that either spouse has the right to decide they do not wish to be divorced and rather wish to remain married. The husband has this right by Torah law and the wife has this right by binding rabbinic ordinance. And this right by definition, obviously, means one spouse wishes to divorce while the other spouse wishes to remain married. And in such a case the spouse that wishes to remain married has that right to remain married (either by Torah law or rabbinic ordinance) despite the other spouse wanting to divorce.

That being the case, when we now hear a case of husband A not wanting to divorce his wife, why do some people insist he is obligated to divorce her per her wishes? As I explained he has the right to decide he wants to remain married to her even if she wants out. And, similarly, in the reverse Rabbeinu Gershom gave her the right to decline accepting a Get if she doesn’t want to be divorced, even if he does. Rabbeinu Gershom didn’t give her that right merely as an academic exercise. He gave her that right to actually exercise if she decides she wants to remain married to him even if he wants out.