all I can say after following this thread for a few days is “Heaven help us”. with all the skewed hashkafos and twisted priorities present in the Jewish community, it is no wonder people are going off the derech.
and oh my gosh, lowering standards is not gonna keep people from looking outwards. Don’t we see that that doesn’t work???? yes, when a child is going off you need to show them that you care and that you love them regardless, but letting go of your morals is not gonna make them be like, “oh this lifestyle looks more tempting now.”
You can tell your child, “this is wrong, if this is the choice you are going to make, we don’t agree but we still love you.” showing children that Torah is flexible is not good. YOU can be flexible with your children but you cannot be flexible with the torah. that’s how the reform movement starts.
sometimes you need to choose your battles and maybe you will decide not to fight with your child over short socks, but that doesn’t mean you should give over to your child that wearing short socks is the right thing to do. TOLEARNCE VS. ACCEPTANCE PEOPLE!!!!!