live right: No one is saying to be flexible with the Torah (I think). The issue is how to be flexible within the Torah’s guidelines. I think my idea of making a GF/BF pair get married is a good example of how to work within the Torah to prevent Issurim. Another case is when the issue is really outside the Torah itself (such as wearing a hat, or going to the Mikvah every day). There one can certainly be flexible if that is appropriate Chinuch. That is not the lowering the Ribbono Shel Olam’s standards.
P.S. Are you Joe?