BTW, I have a great rav who I discuss my shalom bayis with. I get great advice and it has saved my shalom bayis on various occasions (usually he tells me to give in!). I highly recommend a rav or mentor to discuss future issues with.
BTW, I agree with your basic premise. Why do women need someone else to vacuum, mop, etc.? especially if they’re not working outside the home? But, if that’s their expectation going in, if that’s what they are used to seeing by your shvigger, then you need to accommodate it.
Good luck. Don’t forget that giving in keeps the Shechina in your home! What more can you ask for!