Reply To: Shalom Bayis Question

Thank you everyone for your feedback on the housecleaning issue. if I didn’t make myself clear, the issue I had wasnt simply hiring the cleaner it was a sense for my wife to care about the state of our home.

I’m going to get a housecleaner for the sake of shalom bayis, but I have a feeling it will solve the symptoms (dirty home), but not the underlying problem (caring for the home). How do I deal with that issue is what I am looking to figure out.

I don’t want to fix the symptoms by throwing money at the problem today because its going to morph into a bigger problem tomorrow. I feel very open-minded on trying different things to change the dynamic in the home but at the same time giving in anytime my wife wants something will only make me upset. I don’t want to resent her, I am all for a partner in marriage, I’m not looking for anything less. But if I work full-time and support the family, and a housekeeper cleans the home and makes the food and babysits the kids that is not a partnership and I fear that is the directions things are going.

Am i being unreasonable?