newhusband, you sound like you are really trying hard and I think most of the posters here are being too hard on you. The most important thing, in my opinion, is to continue to compliment your wife on everything she does, and to say nothing (or very little) about the things she doesn’t do. Compliments feel good. The more she sees that you appreciate her, the more she’ll be motivated to do more for you.
Shana Rishona is amazing and wonderful in many ways, but it’s also very difficult. Give yourself some credit, and give your wife some credit. Your lives have just drastically changed, and they’re about to drastically change again. B’sha’ah tova, and please keep us posted!