The number one problem in marriages and the number one cause of divorce is indeed, money.
According to an article by Ron Leiber of the New York Times in 2009, the odds of a marriage ending in divorce due to finances is approximately 45 percent. Many of the reasons behind this high rate are the lack of discussions couples have before they get married regarding their views on finances, what debt they are bringing into the marriage, experience they have with budgets, what they envision their financial future to be, and many more.
There are many sources to corroborate my claim.
A wife in Judaism is called an akeret habayit. A homemaker. A woman who doesn’t work needs to take care of her household and her husband and kids, and that includes laundry, cooking, and cleaning. What does a woman who doesn’t work or fulfill domestic duties do all day?
If the OP’s wife wants to work and contribute a second income, let her do that. My eitzah would be that they should only have a maid if the wife works and is incapable of cleaning, as a result.
I’m single guy, and I clean up after myself. I do dishes, scour pots, scrub toilets and the sinks and bathtub, do laundry, vacuum, sweep, Windex the mirrors, mop the floors, use Murphy’s oil soap on the hardwood floors, and even cook and scrub the range and oven about 3 times a week. Twice a month, I scour the refrigerator and clean the shelves. Why couldn’t a woman who doesn’t have a job take 2-3 hours a day reasonably to do all this?
I think the fact that there are lazy women who don’t want to be good wives and mothers is also a cause of shalom bayit problems, and the fact that Jewish women have such a jappy reputation fuels the intermarriage rate, in all honesty. A man needs an ezer k’negdo, not a headache and a drain on his wallet. Sadly, the OP’s wife seems like the antithesis of an eshet chayil, and she is not like all of the strong Jewish mothers and wives I know, in my own family and among friends, who go to work, and still manage to keep a clean home.