eclipse: I don’t like people who are pretenders, whether they pretend to agree with me or disagree with me. Pretending is pretty much the same as lying, and I don’t like people lying to me.
I think people should be able to accept others ideas and practices as legitimate, even if they don’t always agree with them. For the most part, Modern Orthodox and Chareidi Judaism are very much in sync as far as their beliefs go. Both keep the “major” mitzvos (Shabbos, kashrus, taharas hamishpacha). If you walk into my (Modern Orthodox) shul, you’ll see shiurim going on every night, people learning with chavrusos, etc. There are 3 daf yomi shiurim given every day. Yet some people have this idea that Modern Orthodoxy doesn’t value learning Torah! It’s unfortunate that in many yeshivos, they are taught that YU is an evil place, where people aren’t frum at all! I once was brainwashed into that belief, and luckily realized how untrue it is.
I do think there are certain sects of Judaism that are doing things wrong. In some cases, it’s the beliefs of the sect itself, such as meshichist Lubavitch or Avi Weiss and YCT. In other cases, I think the beliefs behind the scenes are fine, but a huge percentage of a sect has taken things to extremes that are wrong, and it’s more the actions than the actual beliefs. In these cases, I can accept the beliefs as legitimate (even if I don’t follow them), but still decry the actions (such as people attacking women who aren’t dressed to extra-machmir standards).