Syag Lchochm: Very well said.
Forget telling them what to do. How about giving love? Show them how much care. Tell them how wonderful and good you think they are. Ask about their day. Tell them about your day. Communicate without showing any negativity and without giving them any orders at all. Talk to them with the same consideration you do when speaking to a person that is not part of your family. Then you won’t have to be asking about how to tell them to put on a coat!