To answer ops question, not necessarily about a coat, I would say ‘I love you and I know that this action leads to that result and that result is painful. Since I love you I want to forbid you from doing this action. However, even more than I love you I respect you. I respect you enough to make your own choices, even if I truly believe that you will regret the consequences because I respect you enough to allow you to do what you decide you need to do. I love you so much that I wish you were willing to trust my judgment, but I respect you so I’m going you the freedom to follow your own judgment. ‘
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