By Eeees and I, I paid for most of the dates, but there were some she paid for. In addition, our families split the cost of the wedding 50/50. And I didn’t make her go out and work after we got married.
I guess we’re not really a frum couple. 🙂
The way I describe the male and female roles have no shaychus to Darwinism, its just a riff on the terms, since they happen to fit so well.
right. so who’s paying for the maid? if the girl gets married young chances are (unless the boys job or supporting parents are bringig in alot) a young couple will not have cleaning help…
LOL Popa. I like your theory and I may borrow it.
My husband and I paid approximately equally. Depending on who had money at that time. Both of us had various jobs during college so it wasn’t a huge burden and we didn’t do anything too expensive.
I dont think the OP was referring to year long courtships…. I could be wrong.
if and when should the girl offer to pick up the tab?
the real one: In fact both sides pay for the wedding. Chosson pays for FLOP & girl pays rest. These days they usually split the pot:)
popa do you ever read some of the comments you write b/c they are getting to be quite ridiculous. you know what maybe the svara for girls paying should be this, since the girls are going to be supporting the guys anyway when they learn in kollel, let them be mekayem zerizim makdimim l’mitzvot and pay for the dates (just kidding). I am currently going out and i pay for all of the dates w/ my own money not my parents. I think it’s basic mentchlachkite that guys should pay for the dates.
After the 4th. And never let the guy see you pay. For example, maybe plan the date, and make him a picnic. Dont take him out to eat and whip out a credit card… its emasculating.
Men don’t like being whipped.
There is just so many ways to go on this…. I’m just going to keep quiet.
Its ok we are on the same page 😉
Depends on who is ultimately going to be the provider. If the woman, then she should pay to show she can. If he will be, then he should. If they both plan to split the money/household responsibilities they should go dutch or tradeoff dates.
What i love, is when a wife spends big money (on her husbands credit card of course) and says look how much i spent on you, what are you buying me??
Poor chap gets 2 fat bills, and the wife thinks she’s a big giver.
I agree with the one who wrote “after the humiliation girls and their families go through under the guise of looking into a shidduch, its only fair for the boy or his family to pay for the date”. The Boshes payment is the cost of the date.