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So i just graduated….and am seriously freaking out. 12 years in the same school, with people guiding me and telling me what to do every step of the way. How can they just expect me to immediately jump into the real world? Will i end up keeping in touch with my friends who stuck through my side throughout it all? Will i be able to adjust to life outside of school, where i alone am responsible for my every action? I seriously don’t feel prepared!
For all of those out there who are graduation this year as well, or any former graduates who have any advice or comments about what they miss about their high school years, i want to hear it! I know that everyone had to go through this transition period, and wish to hear how they coped.
Coffee Gal, mazel tov on your graduation! I cannot answer for what will happen in your life, but I was not friends with my high school classmates for a long time. We drifted apart, everyone had her own life path to follow, etc. I think things are a little different now, with many friends attending seminary together and maintaining the kesher. But the fact is you will probably make new friends, and go where life takes you. And that’s a good thing. I wish you much hatzlacha in the future. You have so much possibility waiting ahead!!!!!! I miss nothing about my high school years, except for my youth. I wish I had known then what I know now. (Hint to all graduates – LISTEN to your parents once in a while, they really DO know more than you think!)
Coffee gal I really really feel you!! I’m in the same exact situation!! Its so exciting to finally graduate but then again, its soo sad! I’m gonna miss going to school and hanging out with my friends. My class was so close, we’ve been together since we were two, all of us and its so sad. I really hope I will be friends with all my classmates always because their not just classmates, their like family. Every single one. I just want to say, whoevers in school: ENJOY IT!!! I definitley did but I wish I couldvr been more into it while I had the chance! Last year I wouldve never thought I would be saying this but I love school and miss it so much!! (Already!!!)
yeah. embrace your independence. ***COMMENT DELETED*** Refrain from inappropriate references. Thank you. YW Moderator-72
although on one hand i agree with ames on her laid back attitude, on the other hand it really is pretty scary. It’s like a child learning to walk, it’s scary to let go!
but could you imagine if you NEVER let go?
Once you graduate and start leading your own life, YOU</you> develop, form and mold yourself as a person. You’re pretty much on your own to discover life beyond high school… and you can decide to be giuded by the lessons you learnt, and the ones you will keep learning every step of the way, and keep growing… or not.
the choice is yours
Coffee gal, first of all, DON’T WORRY. Worrying does not help. Second of all, you going to sem? Because if you are, then DEFINITELY dont worry! You still have one more year ahead of you where you can pack it all in.
Seems like you’re worried about your friendships. Like, how am I ever going to manage without all my friends, how will I keep up with everyone? The truth is, life is always changing and so are your friends. You may move on in life, and meet new friends there. You make new friends, and you gotta leave go of friends too. (It is not physically possible to keep up with all your high school friends!) Think of your mother. Besides for relatives and neighbors, how many ‘other’ friends does she keep up with? Probably not more than five. By osmosis, you stick with certain friends while others you have to leave go of. If you are a healthy, friendly person, you shouldn’t worry. There’ll always be someone there for you!
Good luck and be well!
coffee gal: i am already going into my second year of being out of highschool and i still have the same feelings. they are normal, but what i did was start teaching and keep a kesher with my students and the SCHOOLS i went to. if there are friends i keep in touch with them ’cause they were my friend not because we went to school together (not that i didn’t keep a kesher with those i went to school with) and i still do miss the camaraderie (and the pranks and such but we wont tell anyone that-oops i think i just did, oh well)
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i have to say that i am somewhat confused. isn’t the very job of your high school & its staff to prepare you for life on your own?! if you feel inadequately prepared, i would think that your teachers need to reevaluate what they are teaching. they need to stop spoon-feeding their students and teach them to think for themselves in the proper way. am i crazy for thinking this way?
deliberatelyesoteric: absolutely…..NOT! but the feeling could just come from the fact that although you are (being) prepared it is still unexpected (i mean come on who expects to be ready for a major change in life)
can anyone truly say they left highschool “prepared” fro life?
Although thats the aim, they never tasted what life has to offer!
Although on the other hand, once one has solidified their values and hashkafos, maybe. But already in high school?
Ambush, I was prepared. Partly due to schooling, partly due to life circumstances and partly due to my mother.
My high school gave me a forum to debate/understand the depths of Torah. I questioned everything and the good teachers showed me that it was ok to question and search for answers (ok I had plenty of bad teachers to who did nothing for my growth). I had a few great role models to guide my path.
I also had a more challenging childhood than most of my friends which paved the path to adulthood.
My mother did the best she could to make sure I was responsible and able to stand on my own two feet. She gave me an excellent grounding and I credit her with most of my growth. My hashkafa and values today are pretty similiar to when I left high school 9 years ago (wow!) – that doesnt mean I havent grown in many ways though.
Coffee gal, if you want to keep in touch with your friends, you’ll make it a priority to do so. Same for adjusting. If you continue to freak out and tell yourself that you’ll never make it on your own, that’s what will happen. (By the way, you won’t actually be on your own. Just because you won’t see all your friends and teachers every day doesn’t mean they won’t still be accessible by phone or e-mail whenever you need/want to reach them.)
On the other hand, if you stay positive and tell yourself that you CAN get through the transition period, you’ll be able to do it. I’m not saying it will be easy, only that your attitude is half the battle. Keep us posted on how you do, and create a new thread if a specific problem comes up; we’ll be happy to help you.
I also just graduated, but i guess i had/have a very different experience and attitude. Did you really go through 12 years listening to everything without question? The idea of schooling is largely to prepare the student for life but that doesn’t appear to be the agenda of most yeshiva schools. After the end many students are left saying “what now”. Now that your done you just need to take it as it comes, do what you think is right and hope for the best.
personally, my high school had very little to do with the long-term life philosophies i have developed over the years. i had a great father and some great friends, which is fortunate as i am really not the kind of person who just inhales what teachers say, follows the well-beaten path, or does whatever the general population is expected to do.
if your personality is more the ‘guide me, i’m ready and listening’ type [which can sometimes be quite beneficial for positive personal growth], then you do have more of a challenge now. the smartest advice anyone can give you is: keep up a connection with a teacher or mentor for a good long while.
good luck! 🙂
SJSinNYC: wow! But is that most people?
maybe…
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