How Shidduchim became a beauty pageant contest.

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Viewing 8 posts - 51 through 58 (of 58 total)
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  • #1749295

    Ravkahanazadak
    Participant

    Another issue is , young people , especially girñs are marrying at yoing ages even as young as 18, 19. Divorce rates are highest amongst people who marry very young

    #1749333

    Milhouse
    Participant

    Hair color is changeable.

    Especially if you expect that she will spend most of her time in a sheitel.

    #1749332

    Milhouse
    Participant

    In our circles there is a picture sent to get a general idea if it is shayich or not. Only the mother of the boy looks at the girl’s picture

    That’s even worse, because the mother may have no idea what physical type of girl her son will find attractive. Boys would be too embarrassed to discuss this with their mothers, and the mothers just assume, and end up ruling out all the girls that their son would actually like!

    #1749331

    Joseph
    Participant

    Completely incorrect. Divorce rates are lowest among those who marry young, the lower the marriage age the less divorces, and the divorce rate is highest among those who marry at an older age.

    #1749340

    Ravkahanazadak
    Participant

    Of course boys will want a picture. The shidduchim process is enough stressful from the beginning and there are so many requirements for particulars in personality and ideology to be checked out. Who would go out and waste time eith hours of prior enquiries if the looks of the girl is not not fitting.

    The practice of not showing pictures before the date is one that is mainly prevalent by hassidim, who have their own unique customs and traditions and i think the vasy msjority of ywn readers do not follow that practice

    #1749326

    moishe124
    Participant

    I find it hard to beleive that Rav Yaakov held boys shouldnt go away for mesivta ,was due to the fact that these boys should sit on the opposite couch and stare at his sisters friends.Either let them interact freely or not at all,dont go half way and pretend they will learn of the feminine personality by being in the same house.But by the thought process you are describing after a few dates the boy should stop asking to see a picture of the girl because he will of learned to appreciate a feminine personality.I think the bigger problem is a boy is worried that even though he finds the girl he is dating physically attractive,he is more worried about what his friends/mother/sister will think of them and be embarrassed that “thats all he can get”.So if you fix that problem than I think you will have a solution

    #1749743

    antibias
    Participant

    This is an irrelevant topic because obviously there is a factor that’s being skipped out. That is physically compatibility which is a very important factor which we dont have in the frum world before marriage for good reason. All that leaves us is to be extra comfortable with each other’s looks and to hope with that there will be compatibility.

    #1749898

    Joseph
    Participant

    antibias: What on earth are you talking about? You really believe there’s a benefit to the goyishe way of try before you buy, where they live together before marriage? You’d have to be off your rocker to even contemplate that possibility.

Viewing 8 posts - 51 through 58 (of 58 total)
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