Interviews: Funny answers to trick questions

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  • #593923
    bpt
    Participant

    Yet, despite your credentials, the person conducting the interview will most likely ask you trick questions, just to see how you react to surprise situations. That, and the sheer joy of messing with your head.

    At this point, stand up, thank the person for their time, and explain that it was a misunderstanding, but wish them well nonetheless in assembling a class for next year.

    #972461
    aries2756
    Participant

    BP, that should definitely psych them out!

    #972462
    midwesterner
    Participant

    Most seminaries have so many applicants that they’ll just say they don’t need someone with such an attitude, and move on to the next girl.

    You’ve got to make sure that they need you, and that they know that they need you, before trying that gimmick!

    #972463
    eclipse
    Member

    Cute!

    #972464
    wanderingchana
    Participant

    No, no, no. You’re supposed to say something like, “well, my morahs keep telling me that I work too hard” or “I get very intense about things I care about” (and be prepared to cite examples). It’s your opinion, so as long as it’s not completely outrageous, you can stretch it (not the truth, but your version of the truth) a bit… ๐Ÿ˜›

    #972465
    apushatayid
    Participant

    I once interviewed someone for a job. I was given a list of questions to ask by my supervisor, one of which was, what would you say is your weakest trait. The applicant replied, I have no weakest traits, except perhaps I’m a bit to modest. Needless to say I didn’t pursue that line of questioning any further.

    #972466

    Answer: I’m sorry, I have a very poor vocabulary; what’s a shortcoming?

    #972467
    haifagirl
    Participant

    This reminds me of an old friend of mine. People used to tell her she was conceited. She would always reply, “Conceit is a fault, and I have no faults.”

    #972468

    Most seminaries have so many applicants that they’ll just say they don’t need someone with such an attitude, and move on to the next girl.

    i beg to differ, seminaries might want someone with a sense of humor

    #972469
    frumladygit
    Member

    I love practical jokes. I always make myself laugh out of the blue, say while I am working in the kitchen, just dreaming up the crazy things I could do! Of course es past mich nisht! but…

    What if you just walked up to someone in the street or subway you didn’t know at all and hesitate, pull out a quarter, push it into their hand and say “Take care of yourself, huh?” And pat them on the back and walk away. LOL Crazy.

    What if you were sitting on a city bus and pull out a folding tv dinner table tray (remember those? from the ’70s) and put out a napkin, radio, and vase of flowers, and then proceed to put up a little window treatment you have ready made in your briefcase that easily tacks on to the city bus’s window? Hilarious.

    What if you were in an elevator which was packed with passengers. Then you exclaim out loud, as if to yourself “Oh no, this elevator’s capacity is only 2000 lbs?. ” Then you turn to the people, appearing anxious, meanwhile holding a calculator in your hand doing the math, asking one by one their weight. Crack me up!

    What if you were to purchase one little red apple in the grocery store, and have the chuzpa to demand delivery!

    .. I am actually causing myself to laugh out loud right now at this last one!

    Its never boring when I am with myself..i always make myself laugh!

    #972470
    bpt
    Participant

    When I open up my Seminary, I’m hiring you as Madricha!

    #972471
    eclipse
    Member

    flg…great candid camera material–filming the reactions!

    #972472
    Sister Bear
    Member

    frumladygit I love those!!! One day I might just have to do them ๐Ÿ™‚

    We went to a Yankee game once and my sister who is so the type to do these types of things was gonna call out in the elevator group hug!! lol thank goodness my mother convinced her not too, cuz I’m sure they would’ve done it. ๐Ÿ™‚

    #972473
    frumladygit
    Member

    Ha ha ha sister bear. Reminds me of a funny email I got once : Top funny things to do in an elevator.

    1. Drop a penny down the shute where the doors open, and get down and look and cry “MY PENNY!”

    2. Draw a chalk circle around yourself on the floor of the elevator.

    3. Hand out name tages for everyone, introducing each other.

    4. Face the wrong way, towards the people.

    FUnny huh?

    #972474
    Sister Bear
    Member

    ya, or those funny things to do during exams!!!! I care too much about my grades to do that but if I didn’t…

    Imagine someone doing this while you’re taking a test:

    Turn in the exam approximately 30 minutes into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

    Every five minutes, stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.

    Walk into the exam with an entourage. Claim you are going to be taping your next video during the exam. Try to get the instructor to let them stay, be persuasive. Tell the instructor to expect a percentage of the profits if they are allowed to stay.

    As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

    Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he’s not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

    Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say “oh geez, better get cracking” and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes early.

    Do the entire exam in another language. If you don’t know one, make one up! For math/science exams, try using Roman numerals.

    Back to the OP, what would you say if they asked you if you were a fruit which would you be?

    #972475
    AinOhdMilvado
    Participant

    frumladygit…

    How about pulling a desk and a chair into an elevator, and sit down behind the desk, facing the door.

    The next time the door opens, look up at the person entering and say “Good morning, and whom are you here to see today?”

    #972476
    ItcheSrulik
    Member

    I once wrote a philosophy paper in Yeshivish.

    #972477
    bpt
    Participant

    OK, I see we have an audience. That’s good (we can use a little loosening up every now and then. Lets move on to the next question:

    “So, Ms. Sem girl applicant.. I see you noted your brother is learning full time. May I ask where?”

    <clear your thoat> “This zman, he is in Otisville, but we’re confident that his conviction will be overturned on appeal”

    #972478
    bpt
    Participant

    Quick disclaimer: I’m from BP. Jail time is no longer a shandeh. Its mentioned in passing; especially Otisville.

    #972479

    bpt-when u open up ur sem, can i come? pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease?

    #972480
    bpt
    Participant

    Depends… the only animals I’m looking for are vilda chayas

    not to say that girls named Chaya are wild. If you know (or knew) a vilda chaya, you’ll know who I mean


    And sister bear – Not sure about fruits, but if a vegtable is aslo an acceptable answer, the only one my Sem will take are cayenne peppers!

    #972481
    ItcheSrulik
    Member

    More shameful than Otisville in some circles — YU!

    #972482
    bpt
    Participant

    And I thought my comment would generate heat.

    Oooh, Itchesrulik, are you gonna get it!

    #972483
    simcha613
    Participant

    Sem- What do you feel is the most difficult mitzvah for you to keep?

    girl- ummm… i don’t know… parah adumah?

    #972484
    aries2756
    Participant

    If you are looking for Chayas is Sister “Bear” automatically accepted? As an Aries (Ram) am I in?

    #972485
    bpt
    Participant

    I’d really rather have the 2 of you on the faculty. The CR experience you both have is too valuable to pass up!

    #972486

    Ba an Arba minim shuk get up on a table and announce “their are no more esrogim in the shuk; California lemons only $25”

    Walk into a full elevator and announce “your probably all wondering why I called you here today…”

    #972487
    Bookworm120
    Participant

    LOL! This name is already taken, you crack me up!!! ๐Ÿ˜€

    And this is old, but frumladygit, I LOVE all of those ideas. The one about decorating the bus window reminds me of a scene in a Gadi Pollack comic book…. Anyone remember the one about that guy Fishel who went on a train?

    #972489
    the-art-of-moi
    Participant

    ways to annoy people at the office:

    Attach a sign that says “FAX” to the paper shredder. Sit and watch to see how many people fall for it.

    Compose all your e-mail in rhyming couplets.

    Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Always wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is a different gender than you are.)

    Page your co-workers to call their extensions so they call themselves.

    Page yourself over the intercom. (Don’t disguise your voice.)

    Send email to the rest of the company telling them what you’re doing. For example “If anyone needs me, I’ll be in the bathroom.”

    i dare all working people in the cr to do one of these!

    #972490
    SaysMe
    Member

    taom- which have you done, first!

    #972491

    the-art-of-moi: When I was in camp I actually paged myself to the office several times on the mike. Hardly anyone noticed: they were so used to listening out for their own names only.

    #972492
    the-art-of-moi
    Participant

    i havent done any because i dont work. but i am planning on doing some of these once i start…

    #972493

    So I have a real and very funny true Seminary interview story. Basically when I was a senior in high school a bunch of girls in my grade including me applied to a certain seminary. My friend comes in and the rabbi asked her why she chose this seminary and she said you know I really didnt want to go to a seminary where they ask all those weird questions like if you were an animal which would you be and why? So the rabbi then says oh should I ask that to the next girl? She says yes and the after her interview another one of my friends go in and the first question he asks is if you were an animal which would you be and why and then the rabbi kept a straight face for a minute before laughing while the girl was struggling to come up with an answer and ended up so confused its a moment my friend and laugh about often now ๐Ÿ™‚

    #972494
    Torah613Torah
    Participant

    Someone asked where my great-grandparents live. I responded, “In the cemetery.”

    #972495
    writersoul
    Participant

    Torah613: I know someone who said Queens, waited a beat, and gave the name of the cemetery. But it was for her grandparents.

    (I just typed seminary instead of cemetery. Is that a Freudian slip?!?)

    It was one of the seminaries (did it again) that she didn’t actually want to go to, so she didn’t. She was a lot more normal by her other interviews.

    To lead the conversation in a different direction, I’m about to start the whole seminary parsha, or sugya, or whatever, and I haven’t been interviewed since eighth grade and I have NO IDEA what to say.

    For my first choice sem, what do I say as far as why I want to go? Because my friends are going and I don’t particularly want to go anywhere else? Because that’s the truth.

    Sample interview (THIS WILL HAPPEN IF YOU DON’T HELP!):

    Why do you want to go to my seminary?

    Because it’s in Israel, and I love Israel. And my friends are probably going because they have much better interview answers than I do, and they’re pretty okay to hang around. And I like frozen yogurt.

    What’s your favorite tefillah?

    HaMapil, because I’m, like DEAD when I get home from school and I just want to go to sleep already.

    If you could be any fruit, what would you be?

    A poisonous one so people don’t eat me. I have a strongly developed survival instinct and it’s very efficient evolutionarily.

    Whom do you admire?

    My mother because she’s always there for me. (Awkward silence)

    Ha’im at yecholah ledaber be’ivrit?

    No comprendo! No comprendo!

    I, um, like your t shirt…

    Yeah, I know, it’s really cool, it’s from Despicable Me. My brother’s obsessed with that movie. Do you want to see my ankle socks? They have Peanuts characters on them.

    Okay, so to allay these fears,

    1) What questions do seminaries like Michlalah, Darchei Binah, Machon Raayah, etc. ask?

    2) If not a uniform, what do people usually wear to interviews that are not held in school?

    3) What are some good/cute answers to some of these questions?

    4) What are some interview tips? I’m not THAT shy, and I’m actually a good public speaker, but I have no idea if I interview well.

    #972496
    the-art-of-moi
    Participant

    i dont know much about seminaries, but i do know quite a bit about interviews, i recently had many. Remember to always look cheerful. seminaries dont want depressed girls.

    1. Dress according to, but slightly nicer than, the school’s dress code. For girls, a nice skirt and blouse combo always works.

    2. Brush your hair. If you have bangs, you may want to pin them to the side so the interviewer can see your face clearly. If you tend to play with your hair when you’re nervous, tie it up. Apply minimal makeup to reduce the appearance of sweat (if any), and don’t slouch.

    3.Be prepared for the interview to begin with a broad question, such as “So, tell me about yourself…”. This is your cue to introduce yourself and a few strong points. Begin with your name, school, grade, and segue into your interests. If you’re flustered, it’s okay to say, “Well, that’s kind of a broad question. I’m not sure where to start. Do you think you could ask me something a bit more specific?”.

    4.Be original in your answers. Work in the occasional quote. Always remember to appear cheerful. Don’t mumble or look bored. Keep eye contact.

    5. Sit with your legs together, not spread apart. Girls may also cross their legs at the ankles (think princess diaries)

    6.If your parents are in the interview with you (a relatively common practice), keep calm, look at them when they talk, and don’t look annoyed at them. It makes a very bad impression if you don’t seem to get along with your parents. This one is extremely important.

    WARNING:DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, DO ANY OF THE FOLLOWING THINGS: Pick your nose, clean your nails, slouch, wave to people you know in classes, refer to your interviewer by a name other than the one they’ve used to introduce him/herself, stare off into space during your interview, interrupt, or, most importantly, fall asleep.

    Good luck!

    #972497
    SaysMe
    Member

    writersoul-LOL! I think your answers are great!! Any sem would love a girl with such humor, spunk and bravery ๐Ÿ˜€

    #972498
    Torah613Torah
    Participant

    SaysMe: Not in my experience. Writersoul, I think you’ll do best in Machon Ra’aya.

    #972499
    Bendit
    Participant

    tell me, whats your weakness?

    A: Honestly chocolate

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