June 22, 2009 3:48 am at 3:48 am #648352anonymisssParticipant
Is that sarcasm that I’m hearing?
~a~June 22, 2009 3:54 am at 3:54 am #648353yossi z.Member
about you yeah, about lakewood no (i always thought ashkenazim got married at twenty something and there was a narrow gap betwen in the parsha and an eltere bochur.) unless you were joking?…June 22, 2009 5:52 pm at 5:52 pm #648354bptParticipant
I think this issue is tied to the “close the shidduch gap” (I hope I don’t get slammed by the Mods as a topic hijacker!)
My boys will enter the shidduch market at 22-23, same as all their peers, but with a strong work ethic, and NO assurances from their parents that all their needs will be magically provided. Will we provide a decent wedding and running head start? Of course. But by the time they make the first phone call, they will have a rough idea of what is expected of them within the first year or two.. and a game plan of how they expect to achieve that goal.
Dating someone closer to their age should hopefully provide them with someone who (as Azi pointed out) shares this goal, and understands / appreciates what it takes to make it happen.June 22, 2009 8:31 pm at 8:31 pm #648355veyatzivMember
Azi, the point is BMG is trying to run a yeshiva. They don’t appreciate boys enrolling and then starting a shidduch right away- killing the whole first zman in yeshiva for him and his chavrusa before he even got a chance to settle and leaving yeshiva as soon as he finds his shidduch. They don’t want to be used.
If you want to date you can find yourself a place to stay anywhere in the tri-state area and learn in any beis medrash you want. Just don’t enroll in BMG.
They’re not forcing you not to get married. Just go one zman before you plan on dating.
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