Making it financially with less

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Viewing 17 posts - 51 through 67 (of 67 total)
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  • #917260

    rebdoniel
    Member

    I wish I knew of Jewish organizations that helped the homeless. Sadly, I don’t.

    #917261

    ChanieE
    Participant

    Hershi – it sounds like you have a specific organization in mind. Care to share?

    #917262

    hershi
    Member

    Met Council.

    #917263

    gavra_at_work
    Participant

    Mammele: I don’t know what your point is. If you are currently “not” making it, then you are surely not paying full tuition, i.e. you are taking Tzedaka from the community.

    DY: I might agree with you, but it does say that you have to sell your leichter/straimel/Black hat before taking. Show me the individual that sells their items before dropping their “Chumras” (which they believe to be Mikar Hadin), and then we can discuss “Chumras”.

    #917264

    hershi
    Member

    gaw: Must he sell his shirt too and buy a cheaper t-shirt? That’s what your other must-sell items (i.e. hat) leads us to believe.

    #917265

    gavra_at_work
    Participant

    gaw: Must he sell his shirt too and buy a cheaper t-shirt? That’s what your other must-sell items (i.e. hat) leads us to believe.

    Ask your LOR and get back to me on that one. It is a good question.

    #917266

    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    GAW,

    You have to be realistic and not force someone into an embarrassing situation. Kavod habrios demands not forcing a chossid into the bris Mideast without a shtreimel.

    #917267

    Mammele
    Participant

    Gavra: If you get a discount on a coat, are you also considered as accepting charity? Some schools inflate their rates to “leave room to negotiate”. Besides, you can’t assume that everybody struggling isn’t paying full tuition. Perhaps the reason they are struggling is because they don’t want to bargain on schar limud. Perhaps, as the OP of the tzeddakah thread they don’t even have school age children. Putting tuition into this conversation to be able to dictate how others spend their money seems unfair to me.

    If we are discussing tuition and chumras are fair play I’d say this: All those struggling and their kids aren’t in chasiddeshe yeshivas let them switch. Tuition can be in the $200 range per month per child! If they are modern they may need to dump their tv/internet, wife will need to cover her hair etc., but we “obviously” have a right to dictate others religious practices so they shouldn’t need to get tuition breaks… They may even need to move to a chasidish neighborhood and start speaking yiddish, but hey many here feel we can dictate where people live. And it’s not easy to get into some schools so they shouldn’t be picky and try the bigger ones which are a little easier even if their hashkafos don’t mesh– all in the name of savings. Many schools will accept kids that “don’t blend in” if they live in the neighborhood and the parents abide by the rules.

    At the other extreme we can start discussing public school with homeschooling limudei kodesh. Where does the “dumping of chumros” stop?

    #917268

    mewho
    Participant

    i agree about met council. they are wonderful and caring and help everyone in need. they have excellent programs like their masbia kitchens so that no one should go hungry.

    #917269

    gavra_at_work
    Participant

    GAW,

    You have to be realistic and not force someone into an embarrassing situation. Kavod habrios demands not forcing a chossid into the bris Mideast without a shtreimel.

    This is one of those the times that I wish there was a “like” button.

    #917270

    zahavasdad
    Participant

    Where does the “dumping of chumros” stop?

    Chumra mongering is a very recent innovation and I know many in the charedi world would love to say DAYENU.

    It started recently and it can be stopped. It can be as dangerous to yiddishkeite as mixed seating. Remember we are not to veer from the torah either the left or the RIGHT

    #917271

    gavra_at_work
    Participant

    If you get a discount on a coat, are you also considered as accepting charity?

    If the discount is due to others subsidizing and giving as Tzedaka, then yes. You can argue that a tuition reduction is not Tzedaka, but then those who donate to allow for the discount are not giving Tzedaka. You can’t have it both ways.

    As far as Chassidish/public school/homeschool, unforunately I have to agree with you. You probably are mechuyav to use one of those options in order to keep your items and not accept Tzedaka. Of course, ask your LOR what you need to sell, and what you should do L’Halacha.

    I don’t think that you understand where I am coming from. I am not advocating that anyone who needs it should not taking Tzedaka, including tuition breaks or rental assistance. However, there is a chiyuv to sell your items before coming onto Tzedaka. Your suggestions are good for those who want to keep those items (such as Leichter, Straimel, etc.).

    #917272

    yehudayona
    Participant

    Since when are Twizzlers of any persuasion a necessity?

    #917273

    Mammele
    Participant

    Gavra: I hear you but don’t think you are being realistic. Appearances nowadays are everything rightly or wrongly (and was way back, remember the heating the empty oven pretending to bake challos story?) Even if you are technically correct our midas hachesed should surpass what others are allowed to beg for by us trying to maintain their lifestyle and not judge.

    Also, tzeddakah is more complex so I probably can have it both ways. Anything I give for a mosad is tzeddakah regardless of why there’s a shortfall. And some merchants will give discounts knowing the benefactor is truly needy, however the one doing the bargaining thinks they’re only cutting into a high profit margin. It may be a form of matan beseser, but I still wouldn’t call the one asking for it the same as requesting tzeddakah from the community.

    Chesed is a Jewish middah, let’s not muddy the waters by being picky on who’s deserving of our help or what they must do first. On the other hand let’s not forget to focus on job training and creation, financial planning; maybe even a babysitting co-op. And on this thread some pragmatic money-saving advice as I believe was the original intent.

    Zdad: I have no clue what chumra mongering is but please don’t bother explaining it — as I mentioned before this thread is not the right venue.

    #917274

    gavra_at_work
    Participant

    Even if you are technically correct our midas hachesed should surpass what others are allowed to beg for by us trying to maintain their lifestyle and not judge.

    100% agreed. This is for someone (in general, not specific) who wants to follow Halacha, not for me to say “I’m not giving because you have a silver menorah”. Following Halacha is hard, especially when it comes to Mammonus.

    One point though. It hurts me when I can’t provide what my children ask because I pay in full, while others who don’t pay full tuition are willing to buy the latest toy (or the “in” clothing), while stiffing the school.

    Chesed is a Jewish middah, let’s not muddy the waters by being picky on who’s deserving of our help or what they must do first. On the other hand let’s not forget to focus on job training and creation, financial planning; maybe even a babysitting co-op. And on this thread some pragmatic money-saving advice as I believe was the original intent.

    There are Hilchos Chessed just like any other Halachos, and they are “Gufan Shel Torah”. We can not dismiss them just because we feel bad. Hashem wants us to follow his Torah even if it makes us “feel bad” doing so. I have asked many hilchos Tzedaka questions to my Rov, and encourage others to do so as well.

    #917275

    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Oy vey, my auto-correct made my post go haywire. It was supposed to read “beis midrash”.

    #917276

    greatest
    Member

    DY: I don’t understand why GAW said he “liked” your typo’d post.

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