Tagged: im trying not to attack
February 19, 2009 6:27 pm at 6:27 pm #640927charlie brownMember
I just read this thread.
mazel tov on getting your cast off and your mobility back.
you are truly amazing. your posts give me chizuk. Like asdfghjkl I too am speechless. You really need to get involved in reaching out to teens. You understand them and your passion for yidishkeit comes thru loud and clear.February 19, 2009 9:01 pm at 9:01 pm #640928
this place is getting to me. my head is spinning.February 19, 2009 9:37 pm at 9:37 pm #640929
I’m not good at accepting compliments, but was told that accepting a compliment graciously is a good middah. So- thank you asdfg, charlie & ames for your faith in me. But- you should know that it’s all about getting the right ideas, perspective and hashkafos from the best books out there. Plus- everything learned in yeshiva/school.
I wasn’t gonna give away my little secret, but I express myself much better through writing than through talking. So to you it may seem amazing, but it’s like what you do when speaking to someone face to face about something very meaningful to you: you talk with emotion etc…
and sure i could leave my phone home on shabbos. but that’s not a big deal so i don’t see why it would make any difference. <<
don’t you get it? It absolutely does not need to be a big deal for you. No problem if you feel it’s simple. That’s the perfect thing to start with! You will see results quickly, you will start feeling good about yourself- you made the effort and you were successful! You will have a little more self control just by making that conscious effort/decision of: yes I will do this now, no I will not do that now etc.
And- I endorse havesomeseichel’s suggestion of modeh ani. It is the perfect starting point and really puts your day in perspective.
At first you can just say it. Once this becomes habit, you can start thinking about what the words mean. By waking up every morning and thanking Hashem for returning your neshama… well, that kinda gives a person a strong awareness, no?
Even if you don’t see it directly “rubbing off” on the rest of your day, it is having an affect. Believe me it does.
Just wake up whenever you usually do- say modeh ani- and go on with your day however you always do. That’s it! Try it for a week and let us know.
Hatzlocha rabba!!February 19, 2009 10:08 pm at 10:08 pm #640930myshadowMember
Omg Moish you rock seriously I’m impressed!!
Areivim, no words!! Wow keep it up!February 19, 2009 10:19 pm at 10:19 pm #640931
this is gonna sound stupid, but saying modeh ani was something i always just forgot to do. i dunno why. it’s a weird thing to miss, but since i’m a little kid i can’t remember ever saying it.
sounds dumb because it’s so easy, but i don’t think i could manage it!February 19, 2009 10:21 pm at 10:21 pm #640932
impressed with WHAT??
and areivim, what do you want me to say? thanks for letting me drive you nuts? i feel like i’m gonna make you suicidal one of these days.February 19, 2009 11:33 pm at 11:33 pm #640933
Moish: woosFebruary 20, 2009 12:33 am at 12:33 am #640934beaconParticipant
Moish- This is off topic now but I never told you congrats on getting your cast off… Congrats!February 20, 2009 12:43 am at 12:43 am #640935SJSinNYCMember
Moish, we all struggle with different things.
I struggle with washing for bread. Sounds strange right? But growing up my family never did. I once asked my grandfather who told m e that we only wash for a seudat mitzvah. A few years later, I asked my Rabbi about it who said no, you always need to wash. He also warned me to be careful not to attack my family (you know what an 11-12 year old is like when they think they are right LOL). Even though I know they are wrong, its still something I have to force myself.
Most of the time I win the struggle. Sometimes I dont. Does that mean I should NEVER try just because I fail sometimes?
If it doesnt matter to you to leave your cell phone at home, why not do it? Heck, just do it for Areivim who is trying so hard!February 20, 2009 12:46 am at 12:46 am #640936Belev EchadParticipant
Moish, guess what, about one year ago it just hit me that “Hey! I never say Modeh Ani!” it was never ever in my routine, i don’t know why cuz my house is regular frum the whole nine yards yadda yadda. (actualy, it also once hit me that i never washed netilas yadayim in the morning either)
the point is- i tried to.
and it didn’t always work.
ok, in the beginning it hardly ever worked. but the more i tried to conciously be aware of it, the more i remembered. and it went from saying it once every 2 weeks, to once a week, to half the time, and now Bli Ayin Hara i remember all the time.
so basicaly if you don’t want/feel you cant do a major change, yet u still want to rack up some schar, this is a great place to start. and the coolest thing is- u get schar for trying, even if u don’t remember!
go for it!February 20, 2009 3:47 am at 3:47 am #640937
“sure i could leave my phone home on shabbos. but that’s not a big deal so i don’t see why it would make any difference.”
It makes a big difference, because you’re showing you care. You may not be able to stop doing everything, but doing what you can will help you eventually get where you want to be.
And moish, stop being so hard on yourself. So you didn’t have the best weekend ever. Bimakom shebalai teshuva omdim, ain tzaddikim gumurim omdim – if you fall, you can get up stronger than you were before. Just focus on the things you’re doing right, no matter how small you think they might be. Hashem judges every act and person according to their situation, and you never know how much one “little” mitzvah can help you.February 20, 2009 4:32 am at 4:32 am #640938
areivim its creepy how much you sound like me
moish if you have an issue with modeh ani then say shema anything along those lines would be a gret idea.
about the phone on Shabbos issue whatever you do is a big improvement whether its easy for you or not. compare this to a dieter, who so desires a piece of cake (or an oreo) sometimes he will slip and have it and sometimes he wont. G-d doesn’t and neither should you judge yourself on the nitty gritty details, the big picture is what counts. He wants to see you be a good jew but keep in mind the little things is what’ll bring you there. but dont look at all your evils and give up, you wont help yourself or anyone else lie that.
and btw, head over to the yetzer hara threadFebruary 20, 2009 7:07 am at 7:07 am #640939asdfghjklParticipant
moish: this is gonna sound stupid, but saying modeh ani was something i always just forgot to do. i dunno why. it’s a weird thing to miss, but since i’m a little kid i can’t remember ever saying it.
i used to have that with asher yatzar, some how i used to forget to say it sometimes!!! till i read a story in the yated abt a young boy around 13, that was niftar!!! he was sick with cancer, yet he was real makpid on always saying it, with a txt & concintrading on the meaning, even when he was so sick….i’m just saying what got me to be more aware of saying asher yatzar everytime i left the bathroom!!!February 20, 2009 5:18 pm at 5:18 pm #640940
ok this is probably the funniest question ever posed in the coffeeroom:
what happens if i wake up (relatively early), say modeh ani, go to the bathroom and then go back to sleep for another few hours? do i say modeh ani again when i wake up for real?
i guess it can’t hurt to because there’s no shaim hashem, but i was just wondering.February 20, 2009 5:27 pm at 5:27 pm #640941
I think your only supposed to say it when you wake up for the day, not after every nap. But no guarantees.February 20, 2009 5:46 pm at 5:46 pm #640943
which one is waking up for the day?February 20, 2009 5:55 pm at 5:55 pm #640944CuriousMember
Good question. I do know that my grandpa washes official neigel vasser (prepared at his bedside) after every nap.February 20, 2009 5:55 pm at 5:55 pm #640945
moish- why don’t you try modeh ani for 2 consecutive days and take a break after that if you feel the needFebruary 20, 2009 5:56 pm at 5:56 pm #640946Belev EchadParticipant
hey moish i have that same question- but more. are u supposed to keep washing netilas yadayim?February 20, 2009 6:02 pm at 6:02 pm #640947charlie brownMember
if your skill is in writing as opposed to speaking, find a way to use that writing skill! Ask one of the organizations if they need someone to answer emails from teens who need someone to talk to.
I echo the words of everyone else here that you’re being way too hard on yourself. The fact that you aren’t the gadol hador yet doesn’t make you a complete failure. There is nothing wrong with taking pride in the tiny insignificant things you do l’shem shomayim. They may not be that tiny and insignificant in the eyes of Hashem as they are in your eyes.February 20, 2009 6:21 pm at 6:21 pm #640948coke not pepsiMember
i dont know but like u said there is no shaim hashemFebruary 20, 2009 6:21 pm at 6:21 pm #640949
moish- mod72 don’t like my post, was too personal. I will try to revise:
I believe ***EDITED*** so mods- please allow this through.
thanks and good shabbos!
sorry, that is the best that I can do :o) YW Moderator-72February 20, 2009 6:32 pm at 6:32 pm #640950
areivim, i don’t think i’ll “feel the need” to take a break from saying modeh ani. i’ll just forget, that’s all. i actually remembered this morning, but it’s not the biggest deal to try.
charlie, i’m not too hard on myself. just being real. what’s the point in covering up and pretending everything’s so great?February 20, 2009 6:56 pm at 6:56 pm #640951
If you intend moish, if you wake up not intending to go back to sleep as soon as you come out of the bathroom, you say modeh ani.February 20, 2009 7:52 pm at 7:52 pm #640952
wow i could tell a lot from that edited post! i can’t read your mind… what was that comment in reference to?February 20, 2009 8:01 pm at 8:01 pm #640953
moish, just try to change what you can, without changing your lifestyle. Modeh ani, not ripping letters / carrying your phone on shabbos, etc. And how about trying to make brochos? These things shouldn’t change your style or get in between you and your friends, and they’re fairly easy to do. Just try to start doing one little mitzvah every week or so, and you’ll be surprised how natural those things will become.
And if friends can drag you down, friends can also lift you up. Try to befriend someone(s) who will help you, not hurt you. I’m not saying you should only hang out with guys wearing white shirts and black pants, just try to spend some time with people who do keep the mitzvos. They don’t have to be your only friends, but at least some of your friends should be shomer torah u’mitzvos.February 20, 2009 8:07 pm at 8:07 pm #640954
“If you intend moish, if you wake up not intending to go back to sleep as soon as you come out of the bathroom, you say modeh ani.”
Sorry about that. What I meant to post is “moish, if you wake up not intending to go back to sleep as soon as you come out of the bathroom, you say modeh ani.”February 22, 2009 3:12 am at 3:12 am #640955
mw13, just out of curiosity, how do you know i’m not the one in the group who’s dragging them down?
i don’t think i am, but maybe they feel that way about me. and why would someone “better” want to hang around with me? if i were him, i’m not too sure i would want to.February 22, 2009 3:50 am at 3:50 am #640956
different people have different strengths and weaknesses, & are on different “levels” in different areas. someone who is “better” in your eyes, may still look up to you in something else you are better at, an aspect which you don’t notice but is a challenge for him. there may not be someone like this on every street corner waiting to befriend you, but i think it is possible to have friends like this. so don’t be so hard on yourself (sorry, ik everyone keeps telling you that) & don’t be so quick to decide that someone won’t want to get to know you before he even has a chance.February 22, 2009 5:34 am at 5:34 am #640957CuriousMember
Just read somewhere (not quoting directly, but close enough) about a guy who went to R’ Yisroel Salanter saying that he’s addicted to smoking and couldn’t control himself from smoking on shabbos.
R’ Yisroel asked him, “How many cigarettes do you smoke a day?”
“36,” he answered
R’ Yisroel said – even if you cut down to only 35 cigarettes a day, that will be your tremendous schar in holding back from violating hilchos shabbos.
Eventually he cut down by 1 cigarette every few weeks and was able to completely refrain from smoking on shabbos.
Little steps.February 22, 2009 10:03 am at 10:03 am #640958
moish I dont know this but my guess is that theres no official “dragger” everyones just stretching a little more. and btw, I can guarantee you (if I knew how to spell it, is it right? it still looks funny but maybe its just that its late) that your modeh ani counted 1,000 times more than anyone elses did who just did it out of habit, you did it from bechira and I’m sure G-d cares very much what it was said out of.
teen where did you go? you just disappeared
qwerty I’m getting better at this flash typing thing, although it tends to be better when I’m more awakeFebruary 22, 2009 4:10 pm at 4:10 pm #640959
your spelling is fine (just in case you thought you were losing your mind)
and yeah i think you’re right. some guys are a little more outspoken and aggressive than others, that’s all.February 22, 2009 5:25 pm at 5:25 pm #640960
moish knwos what’s right, he just likes to argueFebruary 22, 2009 6:25 pm at 6:25 pm #640961
syrian, only sometimes 😉February 22, 2009 8:19 pm at 8:19 pm #640962
I didnt think I was losing my mind, but I hope I didnt worry you too much lol and btw, I’m always right, you didnt figure that out yet?
about the guys who are more outspoken I think its a show but think what you want. my guess is that all of you are looking for a little change.February 22, 2009 8:29 pm at 8:29 pm #640963
Moish: haha!!February 22, 2009 8:30 pm at 8:30 pm #640964
kapusta, i don’t think it’s a show. no one pretends anything – that’s the coolest part. there’s nothing to prove to anyone. at least that’s how i look at it. i assume the other guys see it the same way.
just out of curiosity, where do you think i fit into the picture? you seem so confident that you understand it all. i think you overestimate.February 23, 2009 12:56 am at 12:56 am #640965
probably most of its isnt but I think theres a certain factor, maybe present in every relatinship, that is.
I’m not sure exactly what “picture” youre talking about, the general scheme of things, your friends etc when you tell me that I can answer you.February 23, 2009 12:56 am at 12:56 am #640966
moish01: i dont know if u saw my last post, u didnt answer 🙁 sorry i forgot to say who i was talking to, but it’s right after your post that i was addressing so i dont think it’s too unclearFebruary 23, 2009 3:40 am at 3:40 am #640967
kapusta, forget it.
sorry an open book. seems like i’m always skipping your posts by accident. it’s not intentional, so don’t get a complex.
happens to be i read it when i was in a really bad mood and i did temporarily ignore it…
i don’t think i’m being “hard on myself.” why does everyone keep saying that? i know myself – i’m just being real. and i doubt i’m “better” than anyone around in any which way. (maybe i’m a nicer guy than some others, but that’s all ;))
be honest: how thrilled would you be if your son or daughter was my close friend? not too.February 23, 2009 4:26 am at 4:26 am #640968
moish, youre generalizing every kid comes along with their own package and for some kids you would be a great friend and probably pull them up. and now head over to the yetzer hara threadFebruary 23, 2009 4:35 am at 4:35 am #640969amichaiParticipant
moish, what is with you?? i read your input on the nightly divrei torah, and when you ask halocha questions here.your’e so open and honest with yourself and others. we are all truly happy to be your friend.February 23, 2009 4:50 am at 4:50 am #640970
moish01: well thanx for going back to it now.
a nicer guy than others sounds good already, IMO. anyways, i can already think of ways ur better than me, and i dont think id be considered a “bad kid” (tho i dont know. but i think i would know if i was, so i guess im not. sry, dont mind my rambling parentheses.)
i cant rly say for sure about the son or daughter comment, but 1 thing i know is it would depend on the kid & their own personality.February 23, 2009 5:14 am at 5:14 am #640971
kapusta, fat chance
amichai, thanks for all the honesty, but what’s that got to do with anything??
an open book – you must have some imagination.February 23, 2009 5:17 am at 5:17 am #640972
moish01: what? i dont get what ur trying to say. at all.February 23, 2009 5:54 am at 5:54 am #640973
moish: yetzer hara thread NOW!!!February 23, 2009 7:30 am at 7:30 am #640974
kapusta, are you always so demanding?? sheesh!
let’s get the party going here… ames, we need some help… kapusta’s spoiling my mood and at 2:30 AM it’s not the best idea…February 23, 2009 7:41 am at 7:41 am #640975
when people dont listen to me, yes, why not? jk why am I spoiling your mood? I’m just giving you some food (trios, orios, milkshakes whatever) for thought. (and hopefully you’ll listen)
and btw, you havent been doing to great in my book either lately.February 23, 2009 7:47 am at 7:47 am #640976
seriously, what did i do wrong now?
i know, i just “BEed” myself. apparently you just don’t like that self and you need to mold it till you’re happy with the product.
be honest, deep down you know that’s the only thing that will satisfy you.February 23, 2009 7:48 am at 7:48 am #640977
gee thanks, ames. they say “a friend in need is a friend indeed.”
some friend you are.
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