My $21000 sacrifice to get my daughter out of her misery

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  • #822122

    1st timer
    Participant

    We just came back from visiting my seminary daughter. She’s my only daughter and very much the stay at home type. As part of the expense of seminary, we factored in going for Sukkos to help with the adjustment. We got to meet her principal, some teachers, and a lot of friends. She appreciated it so much, especially not having to arrange another 12 meals. The biggest issue was saying good bye all over again. We did see the scene in Ben Yehuda, but note that by Monday night, when all seminaries and some yeshivos were back in session, it was much different (almost quiet). Wishing you much hatzlocha with your daughter, just remember, “Hashem feers da velt”!

    #822123

    Imaofthree
    Participant

    I just find it amazing that we plunk down twenty thousand to send girls to a seminary that we have never seen nor met the staff. It’s not like you can fly over to Israel to attend their “open house”.

    I am wondering what Arig’s daughter is going to do now that she is home. I hope something good will work out. hatzlocha!

    #822124

    cherrybim
    Participant

    Seminaries send professional “recruiters” to high schools where they make a presentation to the twelfth grade girls and afterwards have private sessions with girls who want to explore further.

    The method used by this seminary’s recruiter is to ask the girl at the private session what she would like to have in a seminary that she would choose; the type of hashkafa, and what type of girls, etc.

    No matter what any girl would say, this seminary would assure these girls, most with totally different objectives, that this is exactly the type of seminary that offers what she is looking for; the girls leave with the impression that it is a perfect match for what she is seeking. Until, of course, all the money is paid and she arrives at the school to find a disaster waiting for her. Be very careful. We frum Yiden are very trustful and easily influenced and let our guard down when dealing with other “frum” entities.

    This is a massive amount of money to lose. Stick with a seminary that has a good track record, that are menchin, and as stated earlier..a seminary that your Rov checks out and approves.

    #822125

    yungerman1
    Participant

    daughterofHashem- Well said.

    Imaofthree- The decision is based on reputation of the school and on the recommendation of the 12th grade teachers.

    #822126

    Imaofthree
    Participant

    I have relatives who are not frum and I have watched what they go through in deciding what college they send their kids too. They go with their kids to the open houses to the schools they are interested in and see the campus, the dorm, and the heads. True they are deciding on a four year college and seminary is only a year, but still it is quite a bit of money to spend on a school you never saw.

    I know a principal who makes it her business to travel to Israel and visit the seminaries before she suggests them to her students.

    #822127

    aries2756
    Participant

    Maybe someone should ask the 12th grade teachers if they ever went to check out the seminaries themselves or they are only going by what they heard.

    #822128

    zahavasdad
    Participant

    When you go to secular college, It goes by semesters. There are usually 2 semesters in a school year so lets say you go to a college and its not for you at the end of the school year (Usually December and May) you can leave

    In the example the parent would only have been out $10,500K and not $21K

    #822129

    Imaofthree
    Participant

    Zehava’s Dad, that is true, but if you switch colleges not all of your credits may be transferable so you have lost more money that way.

    #822130

    zahavasdad
    Participant

    I know you dont get to keep all your credits, but you do keep some. But even if you lost ALL

    In OP’s case $10,500 would be lost not $21K

    #822131

    adorable
    Participant

    charlie- are you living in a cave? of course girls that stay get married. its a bubbe maaseh ( which according to mod 80 means its true!) that girls that stay home wont get married!

    I think you are a father that cares too much about his child. you are not letting her grow and develop on her own

    #822132

    adorable, Sorry for not being clear – I was being completely sarcastic! Of course that is just a false bubbe maiseh!

    To avoid giving personal info, I either have daughter(s) who went to an american sem or I will IYH send my daughter(s) to an american sem (if I have any daughters). I am totally against sem girls going to israel.

    #822133

    Imaofthree
    Participant

    For some young ladies it’s good to go to seminary in Israel. But for some it’s not.

    #822134

    Toi
    Participant

    k so…no-one can really know if it was a good decision or not. Maybe she wouldve loved it in a month and maybe she wouldve hated it all year. could go either way. what i dont get at all is how the klal can allow these sems to charge a ridiculous amount of money (far more then they shtell tzu to your daughter) in the first place and then keep it all when you cancel two weeks in. theyre money grubbing nastys. i want to kick those guys. yuch. they think this is yashrus and an example of kddush hashem? ridiculous.

    #822135

    happiest
    Member

    I know that my highschool would always send one of the 12th grade mechanchot yearly to Israel so they could check out each and every sem b4 just sending their students to some random seminary.

    Also, at this point since they are doing many many years of this, they know the hanhala from the seminaries quite well and are able to understand what the seminaries are really about. I think this was a huge plus for many of us getting ready for seminary.

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