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Although I grew so much this year, there are many things I wish someone would have told me, or if they did tell me, I should have listened and implemented their advice. The following tips are meant to help prevent much of the issues I had this year from occurring to anyone ever again.
1. If you are unhappy at the school you are at after the first two weeks, then you should start looking into places to switch to within a few days. I decided not to look into other schools until after Sukkos, and as a result, I ended up having to live in someone’s house for a month in between schools, and then ended up in a school that was not a fit for me at all, and now, I have to leave E”Y before the year is up because of some issues that came up.
2. If you have any learning issues or other issues that will impact your participation at the institution of your choice, try to speak to people who know you well and other girls who may have similar issues about how they were able to deal with the issue and if the school was accomodating.
3. Try to find out how many girls attend the schools you are interested in before applying.
4. Being away from home in a foreign country is very difficult at the beginning because your family is not there to help you physically adjust.
5. Seminary is a money making business.
Feel free to include any other tips you have!
I have to disagree with your first statement, when you suggested two weeks before jumping ship. That is simply not enough time to adjust yourself or to see whether things will get better. This has nothing to do with seminary specifically but is true for most difficult situations. If you are willing to quit so quickly, you will miss out.
Hmmm not sure how wise it is to mention no.5- i think that could be quite a dampener on a girls approach to seminary instead of coming with the attitude (even if its wrong) that seminary is out there to make you into a better person…Just my thoughts
Its not just Semimary
I was pressured to attend Yeshiva in Israel for a year after high school and got a cold shoulder when I refused to go.
Not every is prepared or mature enough to be in a foreign country for a year. While I am sorry I did not spend a year in Israel, The year after High School was not that year. It would have been a disaster.
Everyone Matures differently
i’d disagree with number one. Yes, some people may know beyond a doubt after 2 weeks that they are in the wrong place. But being unhappy is different. It’s hard to adjust to any new situation and it takes time, and it takes time to get comfortable with new people. I remember one girl in my dorm basically cried on the phone home more than once a week, and she announced not wanting to come back after sukkkos and then chanuka. About 2 weeks after chanuka, she told me how suddenly everyone was more relaxed and comfortable with it so more focused on looking outside themselves, and she LOVED sem and ended up having an amazing year.
And to #5, no that is definitely not always true. Many seminaries (and yeshivos) are in debt themselves and just trying to cover costs.
Other advice: dont go just because everyone else is. Go because you want to.
Come in with a positive attitude.
Work work work on being mevater. Just be flexible, give of yourself more, put others first. As a side benefit, people will respect you and like you. Make the best of all the situations that come up.
Try to make friends with everyone at the beginning, even if it’s hard. Bring a group game and arrange a game close to the beginning of the year. Also a great ice breaker.
I dont know if #5 is true or not, but Seminaries and Yeshivas in Israel MUST hire counselors to deal with teens who are likely away from home for the first time especially in a foreign country. Many will be homesick and are not prepared to be on their own yet.
Colleges and universities have these people all the time
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